If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize