He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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