OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have aggressive nipples.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
