can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
