I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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