um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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