all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
