you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
