ADVERTISEMENT

• (989): View more from Michigan

  i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

  Fav 3 1018 1427

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!

  (917): View more from New York City

  question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?

  Fav 24 2636 781

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

  Fav 20 882 3697

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

  Fav 13 3953 757

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

  Fav 16 2302 4044

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

  Fav 13 3593 1472

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

  Fav 3 5137 1295

  share tweet
  

• (562): View more from California

  He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome

  Fav 6 2829 1013

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"

  Fav 6 1234 2550

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

  Fav 2 1051 803

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.

  Fav 2 739 504

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....

  Fav 3 703 443

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.

  Fav 1 38 51

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.

  Fav 0 95 16

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!

  Fav 0 25 56

  share tweet
  

Randomize