we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bring me that man meat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
