Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
