Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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