it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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