Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
