So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
