I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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