it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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