Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
