Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
