How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
