when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
