Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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