It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
