i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
