Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
