I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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