I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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