this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
