you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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