Christians are straight up FREAKS
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
