No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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