Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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