Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
