If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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