great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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