Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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