Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
