The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she smelled like a LAN party
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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