Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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