But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
