Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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