This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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