I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
