4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
nutella sex= disaster
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
