Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
