When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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