it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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