Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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