i think i have herpe
just one?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
