we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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