My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
