I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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