Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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