I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize