My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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