I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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