So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
