I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
